Halloween Seventeen

I’ll never forget this day. This day, the veil between worlds is thin. This day, the me I need to be and the me I hate to be shook hands and made peace. This day, the romantic and the pragmatic achieved detente, made a pact with both God and devil, negotiated and compromised and launched together hand-in-hand in a leap of faith that saved my very soul and most importantly saved Us.

I’ll never regret and never look back. And because of this I dedicate this first tentative step to You. Many have said, “you can do it”. Some selective few said that I should. Those rare jewels we all have in our lives were unanimous in saying, “Yes, that’s your calling” and there was almost a wistful envy, sad and bittersweet because those jewels are better people than I; more honest, more productive, more giving, more loving. That’s why they are my jewels. They, addressing and nursing my insecurity and fear, said “Go! Do it!” and I did, I went, I did it. And priceless though they are those gems in my life lacked one thing that the Crown Jewel has and will always have: they weren’t invested. Supportive, encouraging, loving, uplifting…yes, all of those things. But then they went back to their own daydreams and nightmares and fretted over the little things that suck our souls instead of transcending us to the heavens. I love them and I pity them and I cherish them and I swear on my formerly listless life that I will do for them (if they allow me and if I am able) what my Crown Jewel did for me; risk everything, go all in and not just say but know and do what Love commands and back them 101% when they finally decide to fulfill their destiny and be the painter or the musician or the calligrapher (or the singer) that for all their lives has been yearning and turning and burning inside of them. Love, being the opposite of fear which has haunted me all my life, commands as much and will suffer no less. That’s what my Crown Jewel did for me.

Heather Lynne Dillon, this is for you. For being there. For believing in me against all common sense. For throwing pragmatism to the wind and going all in when the chips were down and the cards against you. For not just loving me but for being Love, teaching Love, preaching Love to this know-it-all who dared in my arrogance to try to do the same for you, not realizing that there is no “try” in Love…there’s just Love. You have taught me, and I have listened and learned. I love you, Heather, no matter what the morrow may bring.

For today I turn pro.

Today I’m all in.

Today I am self-realized, self-actualized and yet transcended farther above my silly self than the stars are above the soil.

Today I am a Writer.